Why is it that in your safest places… your church, your family or with your friends… you can experience some of the deepest pain? It is most difficult to deal with hurt because you have a certain expectation! Aren’t these the people who should have your back? Aren’t these the people who should know better?
You see, there is an enemy out there who wants to see you fail, see you hurt and see your relationships destroyed. One of the major way he works is through offense.
Offense is something presented to us all the time. There are always opportunities where you can be hurt or take something in the wrong context. There is always a chance to get upset and think, “Man, I CAN’T believe she would say that!”
I want to share an example of this very real quickly. On my radio show, a caller named Hilary asked me how to deal with a certain offense. In this instance, she was concerned because her family joined a church and every time the church invited them to events they had to turn them down because of their financial situation.
Hilary felt the leaders in the church were offended by her family’s rejections. And on one Sunday in particular, the pastor made a comment during his sermon that seemed to be calling out her family specifically. In this situation, there were not one, but two, opportunities for offense.
In the first one, the pastor (and maybe other members of the congregation) were offended when Hilary and her family rejected their invitations.
After hearing the comment from the pulpit, Hilary and her family assumed these comments were certainly meant as an offense to them, and were hurt.
In both instances where the offense occurred, the situation was particularly painful simply because it came from the one place where you would expect love and understanding. How could this happen, in a church setting, of all all places?! The short answer, is everyone makes mistakes. In Hilary’s situation simply sitting down with the minister and confronting the issue would solve the entire problem! Just go in and start with, “Pastor ___, I love and respect you. I heard a comment the other day and I want to make sure my family hasn’t offended you in any way…”
Or, from the very beginning, when Hilary felt that her family not participating in certain church functions had been taken negatively, she could’ve sat down and used that same script to clear the air and stop any misunderstanding before it started.
In fact, that script could help you start a respectful conversation to clear up a TON of situations. You might want to write that down and keep it handy. You see, if you don’t confront issues like this, they don’t just go away. In fact, they pave the way for MORE opportunities to find offense. Then, before you know it, the relationship is so full of bitterness, everything that other person does presents an opportunity for offense.
And you don’t need to hold onto that! Sometimes people choose to take offense because of past issues. We tie personal rejection to comments that really have nothing to do with us personally. I don’t mean to call you out, the truth is you, me, Hilary, her pastor even… ALL do this same thing! You fall victim to opportunities for offense.
The only way to work past it, is to choose to forgive and choose to not take offense. Forgive people every day, even for little stuff. If you do not, those past issues will follow you and tweak your perception of reality, just like it did with Hilary and her pastor. Choose to not take offense! In 99 times out of 100, it has nothing to do with you directly.
I hope this helps you to identify and to work past obstacles in your life. Leave me your comments below and please Share and Like today’s post with your friends and family. Let’s start choosing love and forgiveness, and not to take offense with one another.
What are you up to this morning? If you’d like to spend more time on your spiritual health make sure to join us for The Dani Johnson Show to get more tips, strategies and skill sets to improve your everyday life. You can find the show on your TV and radio and please remember you can always stream today’s show right here on our website.
In great faith,
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